Did You Ever know Your My Hero…

Throughout our lives we have many ‘Hero’s’ people we look up to, aspire to be like, proud of etc etc…I have been blessed by so many amazing souls in my life I am truly grateful for each and every one, even the ones who are no longer with us on earth plane or no longer in our circles, are still held in my heart with love and gratitude.

Our Hero’s change with the passing of time, not replacing the old ones, they still remain an inspiration, a bar for us to aspire to. But time brings us new people and events that bring more opportunity for growth and learning. Personally I could write a book just on the people that I have actually known who have inspired me, let alone famous people.

My greatest hero now though is my Loui, he is just amazing. Next month will be a year since his tragic accident. This past 11months has been difficult to say the least. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. But, for as much as my life has been turned upside down, bent sideways and caused so much anguish, he is the one who’s life has been affected the most. Loui was so active, psycho nut case, who just loved to run and run and run. Full of life, joy and mischief.

An active human would have given up, I know when my back went out in 2011 and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year and was in agony for 5years, I contemplated exiting this life on more than one occasion. They were the most alone years I have ever felt. Loui was my only constant companion, he made me laugh when days were bleak and gave me comfort when I couldn’t even speak.

Prior to that i was the life and soul of the party, huge social circle, my nickname for years was ‘Mad Maz’ because like Loui, I was pretty out there.

So you see I have an understanding of how helpless he feels, how useless he must feel now as his role as my body guard is reduced to a bark, how restricted he feels not being able to get up and even go to the toilet by himself.

But here he is, he has been to deaths door and turned away from it, he has suffered horrendous pain and despair, endured the pain of physio 3 times a day when he was still in pain, and fought against all odds to gain some mobility in his broken body and mind.

Loui was my saving grace when my back debilitated me, if it weren’t for him needing to go toilet and get exorcise I would probably still be paralysed myself.

But I had to take him out, even when I could hardly stand. Granted at first most days he was restricted to being let out in the garden (which he hated, refused to toilet) but once I could shuffle my feet I took him out, and on the days I couldn’t, my amazing friends helped where they could. Support is everything, even if just a little, it makes a huge difference! Loui saved my life, the least I could do was save his too.

So, to those who continue to tell me that I should have him put to sleep because I have no life or money. You will never understand the bond we have, the debt I owe him or the unconditional love we share. Yes there has been days when I regretted not putting him to sleep at the start, but, I also know that I could not have lived with myself and would not have been far behind him had I not given him the chance.

Loui is my Hero, he is the strongest being that I know and has taught me so much over the years, this last year being the most profound. He deserves all the love and support I can give him for the time he has left with me, he is my soul mate.

He continues to inspire me to live in the moment and to take simple pleasures where I can.

The song below is dedicated to all the people and fur babies who have helped, inspired and encouraged me throughout my life. ❤

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jorJh8DTMVM

Who is your hero and how have they influenced your life?

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May you always blessed with Hero’s to remind you of the Hero within yourself.
Many Blessings
Maria. ❤

Deplete and Delete

My heart is breaking, it’s left me deplete,

Deplete of sleep,

of energy,

of Deep…

Communication,

We can no longer reach,

Deplete of fear,

Deplete of pain,

Devoid of faith or hope ever again.

Humanity is deplete,

Time to hit Delete,

Deplete is our Mother.

of her Creations

that we reap,

Tis time,

Lets start a new elite,

A race of human where all are rich,

Rich in love

Respect

Community

and Belief.

A’HO

Mitakuye Oyasin

MWT ❤

Love

Love is like a butterfly, beautiful, flighty, transforming yet fragile as its wings.

Take care that your actions don’t alter it’s path, that your words, your breath don’t blow away the magic dust that keeps it in-flight.

Respect it, admire it, marvel at its wonder.

Never loose sight of your hearts thunder, to do so only pulls you both under.

Love is strong, bound by galactic interaction so look to the stars for clarity and traction, and to your heart for love, in action.

May all beings be love

Mitakuye Oyasin

Namaste

Blessings

MWT

Melding of the Tides

This morning I had a dream for the second time this year, its a new one to me in that it is not a recurring childhood dream.  I’m not too sure what its all about but thought I should write it out and maybe gain a little more clarity on it.

The beginning bit was different this time, the first time I was in a house maybe a B+B with my partner (im single btw). This time we were walking through a village, not sure where it was, could have been the UK or somewhere similar to the lake district, it was as green, clean air etc but much warmer.

Anyway we are walking along, chatting away, kissing and cuddling like lovers do.  We stop near a T junction and i sit on a wall, he was stood in front of me with his arms around me. Over the road there are a few shops, we were embracing and laughing and i gently kissed his neck, at the exact time i did that a beautiful woman in shorts and a bikini top came down the hill on a pushbike and stopped outside the shop opposite us.  He couldn’t take his eyes off her, so I went ballistic, told him I was disgusted at his behaviour especially at the timing and told him that I wont be disrespected like that again and it was over.

He looked mortified , not at me exploding into some psycho witch from hell but at his behaviour, and said that he has no idea why he did that and genuinely looked bemused.  He apologised and said that he needed to go back to our digs to think on his actions, alone.  So I said that is fine and I needed some space too and we went our separate ways and I went to investigate this beautiful place we were in.

People were friendly here, smiling and saying hello as they passed, everyone felt like they were in holiday mode.  Some where there like us as tourists but mainly it were local people, all happy and smiley, at peace with themselves and the world.

The main part of the village was raised, there were rolling hills to one side, which I gazed upon while having a coffee, wondering what they had witnessed down here over the years. At the other end of the village was a river and across from that was wild country, nature at its best, untamed or tampered with.

It was getting late in the afternoon and the sun began making its decent, so I headed into the village to ask for directions back to where I was staying.

People were all super excited and running around like crazy, some going one way and others going in the opposite direction.  So figuring something exciting was about to happen and I followed some of them, running to catch up.

We were running through the streets towards the back of the village, then we turned a corner and I could see the sea!  There were black cast iron railings and everyone was clambering onto them to get a better look. The waves were huge and angry looking, crashing and breaking against the wall and everyone laughed as they got wet.  The tide was coming in closer and closer very quickly.  in the corner to the right where the wall met with the wall of a building, there was a rather large guy and his son stood on top of the railing, leaning against the building, father holding son closely as they balanced precariously on this railing.  My heart was in my mouth and before I didn’t even finish thinking to myself that he was being irresponsible and they were both in danger, before a huge wave came over the top of them both and washed them off into the crowd.  Luckily they were not hurt and got up to run with the crowd again as they raced to get across the village, to where they would witness the sea emerge from under the village.

I followed them, running along in all the hysteria felt quite liberating, exciting and scary all that the same time.  I had no idea where we were going or what we were going to witness, maybe more of the same, waves crashing and people getting wet?

They had all disappeared round the corner and off at break neck speed so I was lagging behind, trying to keep up by following the other stragglers.

When I finally caught up with them the scene was very different, people were still excited but everything was calm and serene.  I pushed my way to the front and was bewildered to see ahead of us the sea coming in from the opposite direction!  it was calm, and slowly making its way towards us, no crashing waves just gently lapping along. 

I was confused but so intrigued, how can this be? Before I had time to formulate my thoughts there was a big ‘OHHH’ from the crowd to the left, then silence.  Everyone was still, everything was quiet apart from the clicking of cameras. I looked back to the sea which had drawn closer then I looked down to the river below and saw it. 

The sea we had witnessed earlier was making its way towards the other!  it had calmed a little with travelling below the village but was travelling faster than the other.  the waves eventually touching momentarily before subsiding again, like they were testing the waters before diving in. Slowly they gently joined becoming one ocean, it was magical, so beautiful, it took my breath away and filled my heart with love and wonder.  As they joined, the sun was setting, casting rays of golden, red and orange light across the union, like the universe itself blessed this auspicious moment.  The seam where they joined was clearly visible, like they were seperate entities but joined as one, one soul, one energy yet individual in their own right.  Ying Yang.

Everyone turned and hugged each other, the love shared there in that moment was so powerful the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.

People began to disperse, some going to find a cafe to sit and absorb the experience and others headed towards the wilderness to find a place to set up camp before darkness rolled in.

I walked slowly on the way back, replaying it in my head, in awe at what I had witnessed and sad that my partner had missed this magical experience.

Then I was asking someone if they know of a chiropractor that I could  visit for my back pain and they directed me to a building with an intercom.  i got there and rang for assistance, they let me into the building and it was set up a bit like a chemist.  I went to the receptionist window and asked if i could get an appointment with the chiropractor, she silently pointed me to a sign on the wall.  The sign was a bit like a directory, ‘press 1 for the Dentist’ etc…so I pressed the number for the chiropractor and sat down to wait.

While I was waiting, my partner appeared.  He came and sat next to me and i asked him how he had found me?  He said that is not important but what is, is that he realised what was behind his earlier out of character actions, he said that he realised it was fear.  That he had found someone he did not want to loose and through that fear he created the thing he feared most. And asked for my forgiveness.

At that moment there was a ping as the speaker announced for me to go to the reception. I stood up, squeezed his hand and smiled, then walked over to reception.  The lady had gone and there was a box of eggs sat there with my name wrote in the lid. Bemused I took the eggs and turned around to leave.

Then I woke up, with major back ache from all that running around. 😉

I realised while writing this out that we went around all the directions of the medicine wheel.

Starting out in the East by the T junction, moving to the West with the mountains,  North with the wilderness, South with the angry sea and back to the North/West for the merging. 

I will ponder on it all today but what do you think it means?

Blessings

MWT ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20 Years

Today is the 20th Anniversary of my mothers passing over the rainbow bridge and felt drawn to honour her memory by sharing her story.

Born Annika Gregoriou in 1944 in Cyprus, she grew up in a farming family, with 7 Siblings. All hands were needed, so schooling was a luxury and she only went to school for one year before having to pull her weight at home at the age of 7.

Age 15 her father arranged a marriage for her as part of a buisness deal, they got engaged then on finding out that he was already married, she had her excuse to escape before they married her off. Her younger brother had come to the UK a few months before and arranged for her to join him.

15 yr old when she left Cyprus.

She worked alongside her brother in a friends Cafe and she cleaned at the B+B where they stayed, to earn money to survive and send back to her parents.  That is where she met my father, a Trucker, who was staying at the B+B. They married in 1964.

They were married for 13years, mum loved children and wanted a big family. Sadly she had 8 Miscarriages and ended up with just me. She would never talk about how she nearly lost me age 2 when I drown, I guess the memory was too hard to bare.

We had a wonderful family holiday in Cyprus just before the war in 1974.

Famagusta Cyprus

They split when I was 8yrs old and we moved into a friends place to house sit while she visited her daughter in Australia for a year. I befriended our neighbour Gladys and she took us in like family and we looked after her till the end of her days when I was 13.

Me and mum when I was 7 and 9.

Mum got Alapechia and Anorexia when we left my dad, she was ill for a couple of years but never stopped caring for me and everyone else, through her challenging times.

Her greatest Joy was when my daughter was born, she loved her like her own child.

She had a sense of humour that got her through the dark times.  She always thought of others before herself, I guess it was drilled in from childhood.  Her brothers didnt speak (still not) for many years and her biggest wish was that they resolved their differences.

Even though she was brought up being forced to kill animals, she had a love for them, an empathy, an innate need to nurture. The pics below were taken in my room where I grew up at my grandparents, with the bunny she rescued from her dad and with her Mum.

My mum raised money for heart units at Pinderields hospital, ironically it is where she was died (killed) You can see a a clip from the newspaper framed above her in this pic, from one of the times that she was in there for fundraising for the hospital.

When she came to visit us in Cyprus in 1995 the year before she died, she made us curtains for the flat, she loved to sew and used to make Weding dresses when I was a child.  Growing up I used to promise that one day I would get her her own Sewing shop in Cyprus. That never happened, the year she was moving back to Cyprus is when she died.  Now looking back at the pictures, it is plain to see that she was unwell.

Mum was a special lady, who endured a lot in her short life but held on to the love in her heart with a smile on her face and never lost sight of hope.  She had an equally veracious temper, I bare the scars to prove it. She demanded respect and she got it, she deserved it, that heart on her sleeve meant too many people took advantage and that harsh exterior led people to belive she was tougher than nails, including me in my younger years.

Dead at 51 due to malpractice, her life was just about to start and it was taken from her, from us all, without a second thought or apology.  My biggest heartbreak is that my daughter missed out on her influence, her Love.

She taught me to be who I am and writing this I see the similarities, good and bad.

Life is not gauranteed, tell those you care about that you love them, take that trip, pack in your job and find your vocation, dont wait until tomorrow , till the time is right to do what your heart wants, it may not be given.

There is not a day goes by that I do not miss her, pain heals all wounds they say and it does, the memories, lessons and love however, will always remain. 🙂 ❤

R.I.P. Mum 21.10.44 – 19.4.96