My heart is breaking, it’s left me deplete,
Deplete of sleep,
We can no longer reach,
Deplete of fear,
Deplete of pain,
Devoid of faith or hope ever again.
Humanity is deplete,
Time to hit Delete,
Deplete is our Mother.
of her Creations
that we reap,
Lets start a new elite,
A race of human where all are rich,
Rich in love
Love is like a butterfly, beautiful, flighty, transforming yet fragile as its wings.
Take care that your actions don’t alter it’s path, that your words, your breath don’t blow away the magic dust that keeps it in-flight.
Respect it, admire it, marvel at its wonder.
Never loose sight of your hearts thunder, to do so only pulls you both under.
Love is strong, bound by galactic interaction so look to the stars for clarity and traction, and to your heart for love, in action.
May all beings be love
Apologies for the long post and the delay in getting it up, life takes over at times.
On Monday the 18th July, the weather reports were predicting that on Tuesday the day of the Full Moon, that temperatures would soar in to the 30’s, just for one day. The following day thunderstorms were predicted.
So I packed up the car and Tuesday morning, we headed to my favourite camping spot in Derbyshire, only 20mins away from my sacred place, Lawrencefield. 🙂
As with every visit to Lawrencefield, it was a journey of self awareness, healing and love.
My plan was to get up at Dawn so that I could enjoy a full un-rushed day, in the very welcome sunshine at my spiritual paradise. However, I was late waking up after a restless night and we set off at 10.50am, as it is only a 90min drive, I was glad that I would still get most of the day there and with the lighter nights it made up for missing the morning. 🙂
About 30 mins away from Castelton, the road was blocked and a diversion set in place, I thought ‘great, here we go again’ lol…The road took us in the opposite direction of where we needed to be and eventually brought us out in some suburb of Sheffield, we were lost.
I found a grassed area with a newsagents and pulled over to let Loui out for a stretch and get us some water to cool down. Then set up the sat nav on my phone, we were only 40mins away, so we had not strayed too far off the path and had seen parts of Derbyshire we would have missed otherwise. 🙂
No matter how many times I have driven through Winnats Pass, it still gives me butterflies in my tummy when I see it, its pretty impressive.
The entrance to the camp site at Rowter Farm.
I always get a tingle when pulling into the drive up to the farm, I have been going for so many years now it feels like a home from home and especially nice as the owner recognises me and always speaks. I have also watched her kids grow up into beautiful young ladies too.
I was pleasantly surprised to find it relatively empty seen as we are in the school holiday season, so I had plenty of choice as to where to pitch up. 🙂
After getting pitched and making a cuppa, I had an hour soaking up the sun while reading my book, the temperature was up in 30’s, bliss. 🙂
Rather than risk not getting to Lawrencefield the next day due to the fore casted thunder storm, I packed my rucksack and we headed to my sacred place to enjoy the rest of the day.
Loui paying his respects to the tree 🙂
After paying our respects and setting intentions at the gateway (Tree) we headed onto the pond so Loui could get a drink. On the way we came across a sheep with her lamb, who was very curious and came within millimetres of me being able to stroke her, I could feel her breath on my hands but loui posed too much of a threat even though I had him behind me on a very short lead. She followed us for quite a while then mum called her back.
We got to the main rock face and was pleasantly surprised to see it quiet, with only a couple of people climbing. Two elderly gentlemen who loved Loui and chatted for quite a while, while Loui was cooling down in the water.
Then we headed off through the silver birch to connect with nature and find a place to meditate. We visited another of my portal places and after being disturbed by walkers, we headed off to find another spot. On the way I thought I saw a huge Hare, but on closer inspection it was a tree stump. lol
We walked right to the end of the pathway before it heads down deeper into the valley.
Then I came across a beautiful twin silver birch that called me to connect with it. The left side the tree had grown in two and looked like a twin flame, on the right side it had grown off on its own into a beautiful curved branch. I embraced this like reconnecting with an old friend and spent 15 mins with my head on it and arms wrapped around it.
Amazing, I cant even put it into words but I could hear/feel it breathing, I was shown symbols, colours and went dizzy like I had taken a psychedelic. Then I was carried on a gust of wind along with the trees breath, to a place of no place, just colours and energy. The tree and I were breathing as one, magical. It was beautiful, I felt so at peace and then all of a sudden I was back with the tree and Loui was patiently waiting for me to continue our adventure.
We headed back towards the pond, still in a semi trance state when we found a pretty spot that looked like a good place to sit and meditate in the sun.
We sat here a while just absorbing the serenity and listening to the whispers on the wind. It was so peaceful I took a little video to share it with you: Thunder Moon Pilgrimage.
It was getting quite late so we headed back to the car, via the pond for Loui to cool off again. Then as we headed to the pathway out, the Lamb appeared again and seemed quite distressed. She had lost her mum and was bleating for her, so I told her we would help find mum and she followed us along the path. Then her mum called back, she was foraging deep in the ferns. Mum and Baby reunited, we headed to the Gateway (tree) to give thanks for the days gifts.
It was around 6.30 when we got back to camp, so I got straight on with making tea. While that was cooking I packed up my sage, notebook, pen and rattles ready to do ceremony under the moon later.
The Sun was making its decent and soon the moon arose above the farmhouse.
It was around 9.30pm when we set off along the public footpath behind the farm, that leads deep into the wilderness of Derbyshire.
As I was walking I was in awe of the moon, worried about it getting so dark so quickly and the walk back in the pitch black and also wondering where the best place to go would be. (monkey mind) Then I saw this. A reminder to stay centred.
Shortly after I heard, ‘go to the crossroads’. Which was a relief as it was not too far away from the camp site, maybe a mile. It was fairly cloudy so I didn’t manage to get a good shot of the moon other than it when it rose over the farmhouse earlier. None worth sharing anyhow. I got to the end of the lane, the crossroads, I lit a candle and sage honouring the directions and began to write out my affirmation whilst singing and whistling my creation song. I burnt the piece of paper asking for my prayers to be carried to creator on the smoke, then closed ceremony and gathered my things.
When I looked up, all the cows in the field had come close up to the wall to see what this crazy lady was doing out here at dusk. So I waved some sage over in their direction to bless them too and gave thanks for their presence in our ceremony.
We made our way back walking into the setting sun, it was a beautiful way to end the day.
I didn’t sleep well, the ground was uncomfortable (I forgot my blow up bed) and it was quite cold in the night. I took this picture of the moon as it was shining through my tent at 3am.
By 4.45am I figured I was not going to sleep, so I got up just in time to snap the sunrise before my phone died.
After grabbing a quick cup of tea we headed off for a walk. Something made me go Right out of the camp grounds, which leads onto the road. Normally I go left, down where I went the night before. But this time, I felt I should explore new ground. Unfortunately, I had no camera, so will have to go back and do it again to capture how amazingly beautiful it was.
When we got to the road I could see off in the distance a copse of woods, so we headed towards that after saying hello to the cows and calf’s there.
When we got to the woods it was fenced off and there was a sign for Mam Tor. Well, id never heard of it so off we ventured to climb a mountain. It was hard going especially with my back and Loui pulling my arm out trying to get the sheep! I nearly gave up a couple of times but from somewhere I decided I was going to make it, bad back or not!
The view from the top was breath taking!! I so wish I had a camera with me. We sat on the edge watching the sunlight illuminate all the colours on the hillside as it emerged from behind the clouds, the different shades of greens, like waves on the ocean.
As I sat there, I pondered on the weekend and realised that though it felt like I was in the moment and enjoying what this place had to offer, I really was not fully in the moment or appreciative for what I had experienced.
At Lawrencefield, I had that amazing experience with the tree, yet I was still looking for somewhere to meditate, but it didn’t happen, I couldn’t settle. Then, when I saw the copse of trees today my first thought was to see if I could finally meditate, but that didn’t happen either as the trees were blocked off!
So as I sat there on the top of Mam Tor, I began to see a pattern in my life, of how sometimes things never seem/feel enough or good enough, of my perfectionism and general dissatisfaction with what I am presented with if it does not match my expectations.
Wow, I felt like I had taken 100 step backwards on my spiritual path. Here is something I wrote about expectations, years ago: https://mariawindtalker.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/expectations-2/
I gave thanks for this realisation that I had somehow slipped back into this place of no place where nothing can move beyond until the block has been recognised and released. Then reconnected to the tree at Lawrencefield to fully appreciate the the vision/experience I had there and to give thanks from a soul level not just a mind one!
When we got back to the camp site I headed to the wash rooms to clean up and there was a lady in there doing the same. Seeing my rucksack, she asked if I was heading out for the day, I told her that we had just got back from Mam Tor and she replied,
‘We did that on our first day and I am still recovering four days later’.
This made me smile inside, like I had really accomplished something by getting up there, and I did, in more ways than one. 🙂