Faith

I once had a family,
I once had standing,
I once had a mother,
I once had a community,
I once had a career,
I once had a dream,
I once had financial security,
I once had ambition,
I once believed in humanity.

What I see now is, mistrust, multiple stab wounds in my back, betrayal, dishonesty, fake community, poverty, lies, false idols and misguided loyalties.

Yet I still hold the faith, Shine my light and live in hope that my kind heart and drive to help others, the Animal Kingdom and humanity, will one day be rewarded and my plight to remain pure in an insane world will not have been in vain.

May all beings return to wholeness, to heal from their wounds and stand in the grace once again.

……………………………………

Mitakuye Oyasin. Namaste, Blessings. ❤🙏❤

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Dancing To The Beat Of My Own Drum

Feel the beat, breathe the rhythm. Know within that all is forgiven. Release the tension, dance and sing, fill the air with dynamic flare. Bathe in the energy of tone and tempo, as vibes of joy begin to flow. Transport your mind along the wave as it washes through you with every bass. Draw upon the spirit of the drum, and soon you will be joined by the ancient ones. 💖

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Last May I was ready to leave Cyprus and head back to the UK. The plan was to catch the ferry to Greece with my car and drive back, so that Loui does not suffer the same or worse trauma that he did when he came here on the flight, however, the Ferry was cancelled due to the ‘plandemic’.

They claim that it will open this year around May/June time, if it actually does. It stopped running around 10 years ago after the refugee situation got out of hand here. At the moment there are no direct flights to the UK for the dogs, which to be fair is not something I want to do with Loui after last time, but also now he has to be manually toileted every 3/4 hours and the journey with wait times etc will be approximately 10 hours.

On top of all that worry, we now have the threat of ‘Vaccine Passports’, I for one will not be having it, and I must leave before this becomes a thing! When that will be though is unclear, adding to the confusion and urgency to leave.

So why leave and is the UK any better? Here’s the rub. Over here I can not find part time work and not able to work full time because of Louis needs, I do not have anyone to see to him. Even if I found a permanent part time job the wages are 5e an hour, giving me exactly half of what I need to survive each month. I can not claim any benefits due to previous employers not paying in my national insurance, and if I did find someone to take care of Loui my wage would pay theirs lol. I have been ripped off so much over here that is beyond a joke, you all remember the flat video, that is just the tip of the iceberg. Also, due to my high blood pressure the heat in the summer totally debilitates me to the point that I cant even think, let alone function enough to work. However, there are PLUS sides here too. I have some amazing friends who have helped me in so many ways and who I will be forever grateful to. A couple of those have swimming pools that I can dip in any time I need to to stop my head and heart exploding, that is, if I can function enough to drive there. The beach is also only 20 mins away, not that I go because its too hot lol I live in the middle of nowhere in a valley surrounded by countryside, big bonus. And after years of being ignored and brushed aside by Drs in the UK I am finally getting some proper medical help here, though I have to pay for it. The biggest plus is the vet fees here are a third the cost of UK vets, and with Loui needing constant visits (he has to have another operation this week) well, that’s a big chunk of money I wouldn’t be able to cover in the UK.

UK then? Besides the expense of moving back to the UK, when I get there I have nowhere to live. The council will not offer me a house until I have been back 6 months, nor can I claim any benefits for 6 months. Its like history repeating itself, when I went back when mum died with my 6yr old daughter, we were technically homeless (sofa surfing) for two years before we got a house. A dear friend has offered to put us up for two weeks while we isolate but after that, feck knows? It was hard enough with a kid but with two dogs one of which is paralyzed and double incontinent, well I cant blame people for not wanting us to sofa surf. And now the UK is fecked beyond repair with the fear mongering lies that have enslaved a nation!….PLUS sides, my daughter is there and if I am going to be stuck somewhere due to draconian rule, then I would rather be close to my daughter. I have amazing friends in the UK who if not for them having readings/therapy and attending my online groups, I would not have scraped by here so long, for them I am eternally grateful. Regarding the housing situation, I can get a camper van fairly cheap over there, it is something I have always wanted to do anyway, and even if it is only temporary until I get a job etc it is an option providing I can find the money from somewhere. Food, clothing and vehicles are cheaper in the UK. Part time jobs are easier to find and I have friends who will help with Loui.

So this has been my dilemma for the past two years, should I stay or should I go??

All I know is that I can not survive here another 4 years or know how to get me back to the UK and get set up again without a miracle.