Gotta love those 5am epiphanies… Trance Dance/Techno Music, and why even my hair shrivels in a cringe when I hear it.
The energy is too erratic All the time. It’s like the strobe lights and your energy are one. I can see how some people have fits under that lighting because the energetic pattern is totally nauseating. And this may sound odd, but it’s all very monotone. I know it’s called trance music for a reason but has the opposite affect for me, it totally gets on my nerves lol
There is no emotional dimension to it, other than hyper mode. Nothing to emote to or with, that will touch your soul deeply. The euphoria it brings is more like hysteria on an energetic level. It actually annoys me, like a ticking clock in a quiet room. Music is after all the language of the Soul and feeling annoyed is not going to inspire me to listen to it again.
Musicians play instruments not tinny sound bites. There is something magical about hearing a guitar for example, that can make you weep or rock out. To witness an artist sharing their years of honed gifts, their life purpose with you and to feel the flow and blend when a band plays together. Music is about our personal journey, on a collective sound wave, shared by all in that stream.
The power of a live gig, the pure sound healing that vibrates through your body, the endorphins released, the feeling of unity as hundreds of people come together to share their love and appreciation for the artists and their music. You have world peace right there, shared love and appreciation.
So it’s not simply that I’m old and out dated, I do appreciate all music, even some tech stuff but, you just can’t beat real music, played with passion, emanating from such special souls who touch our lives in ways far beyond what they will ever know.
Just my opinion, I am sure techno heads will say the same. 🙂
Whatever rocks your boat, different streams, same journey.
I’m a Rock chic, screaming guitars that make your hairs stand on end, and your whole being feel alive 🤘
Sorry for not being around much since moving to Cyprus. This has got to be the worst decision I ever made in my life!!!
This is were we are at right now 😦
Since moving here my dog got paralysed, due to his routine I cant find work, so I moved to rented accommodation and put renters into my daughters flat to cover expenses here and leave me 150eu a month to live on.
I have been so depressed with struggling to survive that ive lost all sense of my spiritual connection, hence no poems or ramblings.
Been trying to get back to the uk or a year now but cant get off the island with loui, and now my life savings are practically gone.
The tennants have not paid me in 6 months, ignore my calls and texts, so I got a solicitor involved and they said they would leave by end of January and let me know when they left, because I would have to move back to the flat, as i can no longer pay rent here!
On Monday I went to pay the outstanding bills and see if they had left yet seen as they still ignoring texts etc and this is what they left me with. 1145 eu in bills and the flat totally trashed 😦
Been awake since 4am…still amazes me the amount of traffic at that time on the motorway. I mean it makes sense to work early morning because its too hot by 8am but seriously what jobs are they going to? what time do they finish? and are they asleep by 7pm every night to be on the road by 4am?
Not sure who has it worse those who’s body clocks are working on WTF? all the time to earn money to pay for stuff they never see, or, people like me who barely get by financially but get to enjoy watching the stars from my bed or from my hammock, get to spend time with nature with my fur-babies to play, dance create and live in the moment.
Its a funny old world, as programmed beings we are expected to follow a certain pattern and when life kicks you off the hamster wheel and stops you from getting back on it, people judge you without knowing your situation fully and even then some still sit in judgement.
What I have come to realise in the past 7yrs that I have been ill and out of work, is that neither scenario brings 100% happiness or contentment. Everything is in balance, equal opposites, there can be no light without dark. Our task no matter what life throws at us is to ‘Acknowledge’ those moments that lift our hearts, that switch our brains off from the struggles in our life, in the world and fully appreciate them. Because those moments no matter how fleeting are the reason we are alive. When we die, we wont be recalling the day we earn’t X amount of money on that one job, or buying that cinema screen size TV that we never get time to watch. We will remember the special moments spent that filled our Hearts and minds with LOVE and JOY!
Make the effort every day to be fully present in the special moments.
I will go greet the sunrise now to give thanks for another day and to send prayers out into the world. ❤🙏
Throughout our lives we have many ‘Hero’s’ people we look up to, aspire to be like, proud of etc etc…I have been blessed by so many amazing souls in my life I am truly grateful for each and every one, even the ones who are no longer with us on earth plane or no longer in our circles, are still held in my heart with love and gratitude.
Our Hero’s change with the passing of time, not replacing the old ones, they still remain an inspiration, a bar for us to aspire to. But time brings us new people and events that bring more opportunity for growth and learning. Personally I could write a book just on the people that I have actually known who have inspired me, let alone famous people.
My greatest hero now though is my Loui, he is just amazing. Next month will be a year since his tragic accident. This past 11months has been difficult to say the least. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. But, for as much as my life has been turned upside down, bent sideways and caused so much anguish, he is the one who’s life has been affected the most. Loui was so active, psycho nut case, who just loved to run and run and run. Full of life, joy and mischief.
An active human would have given up, I know when my back went out in 2011 and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year and was in agony for 5years, I contemplated exiting this life on more than one occasion. They were the most alone years I have ever felt. Loui was my only constant companion, he made me laugh when days were bleak and gave me comfort when I couldn’t even speak.
Prior to that i was the life and soul of the party, huge social circle, my nickname for years was ‘Mad Maz’ because like Loui, I was pretty out there.
So you see I have an understanding of how helpless he feels, how useless he must feel now as his role as my body guard is reduced to a bark, how restricted he feels not being able to get up and even go to the toilet by himself.
But here he is, he has been to deaths door and turned away from it, he has suffered horrendous pain and despair, endured the pain of physio 3 times a day when he was still in pain, and fought against all odds to gain some mobility in his broken body and mind.
Loui was my saving grace when my back debilitated me, if it weren’t for him needing to go toilet and get exorcise I would probably still be paralysed myself.
But I had to take him out, even when I could hardly stand. Granted at first most days he was restricted to being let out in the garden (which he hated, refused to toilet) but once I could shuffle my feet I took him out, and on the days I couldn’t, my amazing friends helped where they could. Support is everything, even if just a little, it makes a huge difference! Loui saved my life, the least I could do was save his too.
So, to those who continue to tell me that I should have him put to sleep because I have no life or money. You will never understand the bond we have, the debt I owe him or the unconditional love we share. Yes there has been days when I regretted not putting him to sleep at the start, but, I also know that I could not have lived with myself and would not have been far behind him had I not given him the chance.
Loui is my Hero, he is the strongest being that I know and has taught me so much over the years, this last year being the most profound. He deserves all the love and support I can give him for the time he has left with me, he is my soul mate.
He continues to inspire me to live in the moment and to take simple pleasures where I can.
The song below is dedicated to all the people and fur babies who have helped, inspired and encouraged me throughout my life. ❤
‘Bad luck‘ stories I have a ton of that left me with P.T.S.D, Depression, suicidal thoughts, penny less, homeless for 2 years with a small child, ripped off countless times and abandoned by my own family.
BUT, my life stories do not define me, they are a small part of my journey through life. They are horrific enough on their own merit without the ‘need’ to embellish any of it for extra sympathy or dramatic affect.
Sympathy is not required, Sympathy and Empathy may sound the same but the yard sticks are miles apart. What is required is authentic help from Authentic people, who get that, ‘enabling’ the darkness is NOT the way to pull someone out of it.
So for ALL the ‘REAL‘ people who have done just that, no matter how small a gesture you think you made, know that to me it means more than winning a million dollars, because having you in my life is better than winning the lottery. 🙂
Can you see beyond the ‘Crap’ is your Glass half full or half empty? The contrast between dark and light, is it a clear line or a blurry boundary?
Today I am grateful for all the ‘crap’ because like an X-ray, it exposes the cancerous people around you and accentuates the healthy ones that breathe love and light into you daily, helping you to find the strength to lift your wings and fly.
People expect it from others yet seem incapable of granting it.
They give excuses like; ‘I don’t want to hurt your feelings’, however, by being dishonest about how your thinking or feeling not only hurts the other person, that thing you claim your trying to avoid also puts a black stain on your soul, for you are being dishonest with yourself.
Why do people do that? What conditioned fear has them hooked into inauthenticity?
Guilt at a change in ideas or ideals? Fear of rejection? Fear of being corrected? fear of being caught out? Fear of being wrong? fear of being judgemental? fear of conflict?
What ever the reason FEAR is always behind it.
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.
Fear is like Heroin to the superficial mind of ego, it keeps us hooked like an addict and only once we wake up to the fact that it is destroying our life in one way or another, usually manifesting physically as Dis-ease, might we finally say enough is enough and find the strength to break free.
Sometimes our mind can play tricks on us due to past experiences and we can interpret situations based upon those events. We create a whole elaborate scenario in our heads where we are generally the victim of an others concept of us.
Or vice versa we derive an imagined concept of another based on an event that may be out of character for them, but resonates with a prior happening in our past. Character assassination then ensues and rather than openly discuss this with them we avoid the situation, and when questioned about why the sudden change, dishonesty creeps in yet again.
Thy say that the ‘the truth hurts’ but does it really or does it hurt more to feel deceived?
In my humble opinion, if you are being honest about your feelings in a non aggressive or hurtful manner,but, in a loving way, then you have nothing to be afraid of. How the other person takes it is not your responsibility. Likewise if someone comes to you with an honest observation, how you respond to that is entirely a reflection of your own spiritual maturity.
Patterns and layers of dishonesty weaving a web of lies.
‘What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.’
One of the hardest lessons it seems on the spiritual path is Authenticity and that my friends starts with honest communication.
The journey begins with being honest with yourself, dig deep and find the why? behind your urge to ‘save another’s feelings’.
Heart led honesty really is the best policy, always!
Giant Hog Weed growing from the bank by the Canal. These are very poisonous, so if you see one DO NOT touch it. They grow over 6ft tall and tower over their 4-5 ft relatives.
Watching these plants made me see the beauty inside even the most feared, that they hold lightness, and it reaffirmed to me that ALL life is Sacred!
They made me smile and feel joyous inside as they waved their arm in the air, ‘like they just don’t care’. Dancing and rejoicing this thing called life, their fall from grace as winter strips them of their bounty, yet still rejoicing as they dance with their relatives in the waters of life.
Arms stretched high, caressing the wind as she carries their song to up to creator. While they bounce along to the rhythm of their beat, connected to our mother and to father sun.
What a beautiful sight it was to see, we stood and watched for a good while before heading on our way, with a little song in my heart and a new beat in my feet.