Last week I entered into my 47th year on this earth plane (this time around)
The last couple of years I have gone camping with friends to my sacred place in Derbyshire, however, due to my increasingly failing health, I didn’t fancy it but did want to get away somewhere. Then my lovely friend of some 34year, very kindly offered me the use of her static caravan in Kilnsea for a couple of days. Wonderful 🙂
I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my daughter, however it was not meant to be as she had an appointment that could not be changed. So I invited a friend along but she couldn’t make it either. I figured that the universe wanted me to enjoy some total quiet times, no internet, phone or mum duties to worry about.
Loui and I set off on the two hour drive the day before my birthday, in seriously high winds. The drive over was an interesting mix of nearly being blown off the road, blinded by the sun and torrential rain, followed by more sun. I had to change radio station three times as we went through different counties and the last leg was radio 2 and a tribute to Elvis as it was the anniversary of his death the day before. Elvis played a big part in my childhood, I loved him so much and his music (amongst others) got me through my early years. I will never forget hearing the news of his death and how it still affected me right into my 20’s.
Even though I do not play his music anymore, as they played his songs and spoke of his life I found myself crying at his loss. Grief is such a hard emotion to shift, I don’t think we ever really do, we just learn to ignore it until something reminds us that there is a gap within our souls that only that person can fill. I guess I cried for everyone that I have lost in that last half hour of the drive and hoped that the sea air would cleanse the space once again and bridge that gap a little more.
I didn’t realise just how high the winds were until I arrived and couldn’t open the caravan door, the force of the wind was so strong that it took all my strength to pull it open, only to be blown shut again. Eventually I got it open enough to stick my hip between the door and hand rail, just enough to drag my bags through.
After unpacking and enjoying a much needed cup of tea, I was itching to take Loui for a walk on the beach, so much so I didn’t think to get changed out of my cut off trousers, sleeveless top, sandals or to take a coat!
Not deterred by the ever increasing winds, we set off to find a way down to the sea and tentatively climbed down some collapsed wall, eroded away by the tides over the years.
The sun was shining and the beach was totally deserted, fantastic 🙂
Loui bless him was like a little child on hyper mode. Watching him run free experiencing the exhilaration of running in the wind and escaping the oncoming waves was so funny and filled me with such joy. The kind you get when you see your child discovering the world around them for the first time, full of wonder and amazement at everything. Feeling his heightened energy made me forget the sadness of the drive, reminding me to enjoy the moment and to be grateful for being alive, for this experience here and now.
The weather was crazy, in a blink of an eye it went from sunny to torrential rain. I couldn’t see 3ft in front of me and headed back towards the collapsed wall to find shelter. I was calling to Loui to no avail; I couldn’t see him through the storm as the wind was driving the rain towards me but I could hardly stand on my feet and after a few minutes had to retreat. I was worried that Loui was lost in the storm or worse the sea. Then through the wall of rain he appeared running towards me soaked through, relieved to see me and looking slightly scared. We made it to cover and within seconds it stopped and the sun came out again, soaked through or not, we went to investigate the other side of the beach. Loui quickly forgot the last 15mins and was fully in the moment again; glad to be in this most special place with miles and miles of unspoilt beach.
Here is a little clip of him running around like a caged animal released for the first time 😀
After an hour or so we made our way back and settled in for the night. The winds were getting worse, Loui was quite unsettled by the howling winds and the noise of the caravan as it creaked and rocked, it reminded me of being in severe turbulence on an aeroplane. He settled down eventually, shattered from his adventure, he fell asleep until I woke him up to go to bed.
The sunset was amazing, a huge flaming eye in the sky, beautiful, I took it to be a positive sign.
The next day we got up around 8.30am, I was a little sad that I was on my own and wouldn’t see my daughter on my birthday but wanted to make the best of the day. It was overcast and raining but the wind had calmed down a bit so we headed for the beach, suitably dressed with waterproofs and wellies. After an hour or so of exploring rock pools, collecting stones and chasing Loui around we headed back to get a late breakfast and open a couple of presents that I had taken with me; A beautiful Leather book/journal and a lovely Apophyllite Crystal.
The Crystals significance would become relevant that evening. http://meanings.crystalsandjewelry.com/apophyllite/
After breakfast/lunch, we took a drive to try finding a cafe, as I fancied a Latte and cake, a little birthday treat. The cafe on site was closed so we drove to the nearest village which only had a shop, even the pub was closed. So I bought a little coffee and walnut cake to take back for later, then drove up to Spurn point in the hope that they might have a cafe. They didn’t, so we went to the club house on site and ordered a latte there, which was basically coloured hot water but I got a nice little picture of the terrace.
We got back to the caravan about 3pm and I made myself a Latte and shared my birthday cake with Loui.
Afterwards we went for a long walk on the beach to work the cake off. We got back around 6.30pm and after cleaning up I took a long hot shower and got into my PJ’s, thoroughly contented and exhausted from all the exercise and fresh air. I lit some incense and a T light on the coffee table and we got settled on the sofa wrapped in my quilt to keep warm while I watched a little TV, Loui was exhausted and snoring at my feet.
A friend had lent me a book to read ‘Serpent of Light’ by Drunvalo Melchizedek. Not my favourite person for reasons I won’t go into here, but, having never read any of his books I thought it might be interesting, especially as it was about the shift. I had been reading it on and off over the last 24 hours and was onto chapter 9 or 10, it was interesting in part as he talked about places that I had visited and certain prophecies that I knew a little about, gave some interesting info on the pole shifts over the ages and hinted at where the next ‘safe zone’ would be. Through each chapter he continually dangled little carrots which were to be made clearer in his next book, classic marketing techniques, which were a constant reminder as to why he doesn’t resonate with me and to be wary of ‘false prophets’.
Around 9.30pm I started to drift in and out of sleep, coming round after a few minutes and reading a little more, then drifting off again. The last thing I remember reading was that his ‘guide’ had told him he had another mission and that ‘ONLY HE’ could fulfil it, so he and his partner went separate ways and didn’t see each other for 6months. I remember thinking to myself, ‘fecking egotist’ and put the book on the coffee table and promptly fell into deep sleep.
Around 10.30pm I awoke suddenly after having a lucid dream that I couldn’t remember. I opened my eyes and looked to my right to see the book on fire with flames around a foot high!!
Realising the imminent danger I picked up the book which went Woosh as the flames spread up and through the book. Burning ash was flying everywhere and I tried to put it out, still holding the burning book which was now starting to burn my hand. So I headed for the kitchen sink to put it out, halfway across the lounge I stopped as the pain was pretty intense and I nearly dropped it but realised that if I dropped it now the whole place would go up in flames. So I gripped even tighter so as not to let go, then the door to the kitchen wouldn’t open, upto then I just had to push it and it opened but now it wouldn’t move and I had to turn the handle.
I began to panic a bit at that point, the pain was horrendous and every second counted, if I dropped it we would be in serious trouble. I got the door open and close enough to the sink to throw it in. I turned the tap on and once the flames had gone down enough I stuck my hand under the water, which made the pain even more unbearable. Then the fire alarm went off so I had to go waft that with a towel till it stopped and opened the windows.
After doing the pain dance with expletives chant around the kitchen a few times, and putting my hand under the tap again I remembered that I had a first aid kit in the car. My hand was red raw and there was a little tear near the base of my pinky finger which was bleeding, I thought I would lose the skin on my hand if I didn’t get it treated asap. But the nearest hospital was in Hull about an hour away and the first aid kit it only had bandages and plasters in it, no antiseptic or burn cream.
Then I remembered my coconut oil and smothered my hand in that and bandaged it up, which frikking hurt like hell.
Luckily I had taken pain killers with me for my back and some chamomile in case I couldn’t sleep, so I took some pills and made some chamomile tea to ease the shock. I sat down with my tea and rang Angie to let her know what had happened and apologise for the damage to the carpet. Realising that I probably wouldn’t be able drive home I rang my daughter and a friend to see if they could come get me in the morning as I really should get to A&E.
The bandage was too tight and causing more pain as it restricted the swelling, so I took it off and put chamomile tea on it before rewrapping it looser.
I slept surprisingly well, only waking up a couple of times with the throbbing pain in my hand and with the answers to my questions.
My lucid dream was of fire to my right, I remembered seeing the flames then waking up and seeing the book on fire and I’m not sure if I read this in the book but was made of aware of ancestral healing and it being burnt off!
The next morning I tentatively took the bandage off dreading what I would see, I had visions of my skin all peeled off and bare flesh oozing puss. But to my delight my skin was intact, even the cut that was bleeding the night before had vanished and apart from blistering it felt ok, sore but ok 🙂
I texted my daughter and told her to abort the rescue mission, I would be ok to drive home.
Loui and I went for a last walk on the beach, where we found loads of washed up dead crabs, which probably has some symbolic meaning though I’m not sure what?
Loui found the crabs a delight and made of with a huge crab claw and devoured it.
I also came across an amazing rock that looks like a sun portal, which I had to bring home with me. It is beautiful, on the back there is another portal directly behind the front one, entry and exit point, it is amazing and feel that it is very significant. Looking forward to connecting with it once it has acclimatised to its new surroundings.
I felt a real connection with all the elements over those two days, the sun (fire) The Sea (Water) The wind (Air) and the stone people (Earth). The wind was especialy strong and on that last day it felt like it was clearing my whole being.
The drive home was challenging with it being my left hand that was damaged, getting it into first gear was a painful affair and was glad to hit the motorway for the last hour home. Not too far from the caravan park in a little village, I had to stop to avoid running over a Moor Hen and her chic that were crossing the road. I sat and watched them dissapear into the hedgerow and felt so blessed at witnessing this scene, new life, mother and baby crossing from one side to the other, it felt very symbolic.
Gallinule/Moorhen/’Alae ‘Ula’s Wisdom Includes:
• Connection to water vegetation
• Ability to move above ones environment
• Diversity of color/race
• Use of voice
According to legend, the Gallinule is one of the great benefactors of the early Hawaiian people. It was in the days before fire was known to the people, and the Gallinule took pity on them. Flying to the home of the gods (the volcanos), he stole a blazing brand and brought it back to earth. During his flight the Gallinule’s formerly white forehead was scorched by the volcano’s fires — thus its name “alae” signifying a burnt forehead. Today all gallinules bear a red frontal shield on their heads. http://www.animalspirits.com/index61.html
The whole experience was playing over in my mind on the journey home, I guess my guides were not happy with me reading that book, a lesson for me to stick to my own knowing and values and not to humour other people’s ideals or worry if mine alienate others.
Interestingly, yesterday I told my friend and mentor the brief outline about what happened and this is what she said about it
‘Wow. What can I say to that experience with the fire?
Drunvalo is a deceiver. Spirit was trying to rid you of his book and I might suggest everything else in that genre of false new age teaching and thought that cannot take us forward into the genuine’
Which confirmed my thoughts!!
I kept thinking about my daughter and how she would have been affected if I had died through my own carelessness and how bad I felt that Loui could have been burnt to death too.
What I am profoundly aware of is how we humans can surpass our pain barriers and achieve super natural strength from hidden reserves in times of crisis. We hear of mothers lifting cars to save their children etc but until it happens to us we don’t realise that adrenalin fuels the fight for survival.
This is not the first time my body, mind and will power has been pushed past its limits but I pray that it is the last.
The blisters continued to get bigger for a few days then the biggest one on my thumb popped when I picked a cup of tea up. The others are slowly starting to deflate, am hoping that the ones on my pinky don’t burst as they are tight and sore. My thumb now has a big scabby hole that keeps weeping and the one on my palm is receding.
If it weren’t for the coconut oil and chamomile tea though, it may have been a lot worse. I still think a mini miracle happened to be honest, either way I am very grateful to be here to tell the tale.