Well WOW!…what a day so far and its only 2.45pm!
Recently one of the things that I have been working on is, ‘clear communication’, after I realised that half of what I say or type even is only half of what im thinking in my head. Ive suffered this problem all my life, and im sure it is linked to Telepathy but in the mean time it gets me into all sorts of bother as you can imagine. So last year I CHOSE to dissect this part of myself and clear that channel once and for all. How else will I truly become the hollow bone?
I woke up feeling ’emotionally’ great after having a rather vivid dream, on which I wont go into here. However, on getting up I physically didn’t feel too great, I probably over did it yesterday and deffo shouldn’t have eaten that toast! So I took a rain-check on my scheduled stuff and took a chill day.
After making a flyer this am, which was an accomplishment for this technophobe lol… I felt drawn to look into one of the groups on Face Book, I am generally too busy to spend much time in there. Now, going back to the old me of saying half of what im thinking and not conveying my intent fully, it has been known on many occasion for me to piss someone off, the native American community being no exception.
‘Experience/previous layer‘ has taught me to avoid heated discussions, or overly controversial ones, stay neutral. My ‘opinionated/ego self’ doesn’t always allow this and I feel this is partially why I seem to not have enough time to visit these sacred places of learning, remove temptation? But that’s not facing the demon is it?.
So, what a surprise when I found myself responding to a thread that is high on my ‘Do NOT respond’ list, ‘To charge or not to charge for shamanic services’?. Interestingly, as I suspected someone tried to spark a degradation campaign but I somehow managed to prevent it from becoming more than a spark and everything was Rosy after that. I had managed to take a breath, step back, ignore the insulted ego and see the bigger picture. There it was again, I had omitted to state something clearly, which led to a misinterpretation of my intent. Once I saw the pattern I could reply instead of respond. What a breakthrough, I felt it physically leave through my heart chakra, as I sighed a sigh of relief. Thank you creator for this Blessing today. 🙂
Finally the rain stopped about 1pm so Loui and I went for a walk in the freezing yet sunny winds. There was no one around, I thought to myself, ‘they have sense’! As I was walking along aka, trying to stay on my feet!
I began thinking about the thread earlier and a flock of crows flew out of the trees and over my head and I knew a message of truth was on its way. Then a part of the conversation regarding the age a child starts training and the difference in beliefs between cultures etc. So I asked the Creator the question, ‘What age did I begin my training in this life?’
I have always said that it was when I was Drown at 2 yr old, I call it my awakening, today I got the verification but it is not how I have believed it to be all these years!
As I tuned in deeper to receive guidance, I became aware of the wind, how it was flowing, how intense, what song it was singing and in what tone at different stages on its flow. My mind began to flip back like the pages in a photo album, quick snapshots of time captured till it stopped on my drowning. So I stopped and asked, ‘did I begin my training at 2yrs old after the drowning incident?’
The wind suddenly blew a gust that spun me round to face an Oak tree, I stood there for 15mins talking with the wind and the tree, totally oblivious to the fact that anyone could have appeared.
I was told that when I was born there had been a ‘Blip in the Matrix’ which led to me being born into this body but, I was meant to go to a Lakota family!!!
( I was born 4 weeks early to a mother who had lost 7 babies at that point, she lost another after me.)
OMG the pain/shock/sadness/disbelief I felt was overwhelming, I was crying like a baby asking, WHY? What do you mean a ‘Blip in the Matrix??’
I fell to my knees, all my energy zapped out of me as I tried to comprehend it all.
As it filtered through, things started to make sense, Why I always felt I was born to the wrong family and never fit in with either side of my bloodlines, why I asked my mum if I had been adopted and of course my obsession with the Native ways. I have had several of these awakenings around this ‘feeling different’ throughout my life but this was on a deeper level.!!!
Then I was shown/taken to the drowning incident, I felt everything! the fear, the choking, the darkness and then went to the other side, where I was given a choice to leave this life and follow my true path or come back to this one.
At that point Loui got wrapped round a tree and barked to let me know, yanking me back to reality, still crying my eyes out! On reflection how symbolic, what a tangled mess we weave!!
After untangling him we carried on walking, the wind had calmed a bit, so I took this time to reflect on all that had just passed. Why would I have chose this life knowing the hardship and pain? Am I living someone else’s life? If so then who am I? What is my life path if it is different? is so, Why does nothing else ‘feel’ right?
I was reminded that ‘As a multidimensional soul we are experiencing everything simultaneously so there is no right or wrong path, only the path’ and we can choose to experience any part of it.
We made our way back and as we got closer to the Oak tree, the wind began to call to me again. I needed know, Why would I have made such a stupid choice??
As I asked the tree this question, sobbing my heart out, I was taken back to the other side at 2yrs old and shown my beautiful mum, whos heart was so full of love to give to her child, yet the creator had chosen to take away 7 of her babies and her heart was weary with grief, she would not survive another loss. I chose to come back for her sake so she could experience motherhood and for mine, so that I may experience at least once in this lifetime the true essence of unconditional love, that really, only a mother can bring.
After making peace with my decision, a huge gust of wind came from behind us and pushed me half running along the lane. I felt all the dis – ease around that choice being cleansed away and a sense of peace come over me.
This to me has got to be the main ‘seed or root cause’ that had been planted that has blocked the pathway for me from time to time. I feel so much lighter now that it has been acknowledged and transformed.
On the way back I was wondering if I should be looking at a different area of healing work, then a woman walking a Border Collie puppy called over to me to ask about Louis lead and ask for training advice!
I have helped out with dog training in the past when I had my own Border Collie when I was in my teens, maybe I will look into that 🙂
Time to plant a garden of flowers where there once grew weeds 😀
Feeling very Grateful ❤
Can anyone shed any light on the blip in the matrix. I thought everything was in perfection in the matrix?
After discussing the ‘blip in the matrix’ with friends in my group on FB, we came to the conclusion that the blip was man made. So in affect,my mums prayers, intention, desire, need for a baby,over rode the program as it were.
Check out the link below in comments that I found too.