On Christmas Eve, It will be one year since we lost our Soul Sister Von Harman (Lady Hawk) The Creator wanted her back, so that she may watch over us all Simultaneously.

It all happened so quickly, the ‘C’ news hadn’t even sank in with most of us yet, then she was gone, within a month.

Tragic! She was so full of life and had so much to offer us all,  Von leaves behind a massive legacy amongst the people whose lives she touched, not only close family but her extended family (friends) who she gave her love to unconditionally.  She will remain forever in our hearts and connected in our souls. ❤

Got to love Synchronicity, or as I call it, ‘Sat Nav for the soul’, and its signs to let you know when someone hears you, or your on the right path!!  This just started playing on the radio right now!  WOW!!….Love you Von ❤

Some of you already know the story of my connection with Grandfather Bear Heart and Von but for those who do not, let me tell you, any doubts that the universe/creator can make the highly unlikely, become reality, no matter what objects you throw at it, then, I can assure you that it WILL make it happen. I am living proof!

As I sit and reflect today, how a 10year old girl, sat in front of the TV in a  council house in the UK, could have been so influenced by a news clip of a Native man making it snow in Colorado.  Not only did it fuel a creative mind, it made her see that she was not alone in her ‘strangeness’, but, it also helped to carve the path of the rest of her life and lead her directly into the heart of his family. I can’t help but marvel at the wonder of the universe,  be humbled by its awe and be eternally grateful for every gift.  Wado!!

Someone once said to me many years ago, ”when in doubt of your abilities, look to your friends. The qualities you admire in them are waiting for you to embrace them”

At the time I looked at my ‘party’ friends and thought, nope, ‘I don’t even drink that often’. Then I looked to my Spiritual friends and thought, ‘Pft, there’s no way I could be good enough to do that’ etc

Well guess what? I’m doing it, learning as I go but am doing it, that is, finally embracing my path.  Thank you to all the people who have encouraged me to go for it over the years, especially Von and Alexandria over the last few, who as Shamans (Spiritual Teachers) I hold in high regard and value their wisdom.

Thank you Universe for your persistence.

20 years after the news clip, Von found me on Myspace around 9-10 years ago now.  We became very bonded very quickly, on a deeper level than the normal ‘feels like I’ve known you forever’ feeling.  I can’t really explain it other than ‘blood related family’.  Von and her sister Teresa have a very unusually close bond and to hear Von speak of Teresa was wonderful, like a mother talking about her child, full of love. We all got close but with Teresa’s work patterns, I got to know Von more.  We had so many parallel incidents in our lives it was beyond surreal and I felt I could tell her anything, especially without being judged for not being native and following the path.

Von and Teresa often spoke of Grandfather Bearheart, posted pictures and shared sacred ceremonies within her inner circle. It was wonderful to share in their lives, strengthening our bonds and we all loved the bond of love they both shared with their grandfather too.  It reminded me of my own grandfather and how I looked after him in his last years.  Von would often invite me along to do a sweat lodge with Grandfather Bearheart but I always had an excuse, (lack of self worth)

Around the time that Von and I first met, I was gifted a book by a friend, the Book called, ‘The wind is my mother’ by ‘Bear Heart’.  I read  it in 2 days, couldn’t put it down, have re read it and gifted it, many times since!

Then 5 years ago we sadly lost Grandfather Bearheart, the pain of the loss I felt for my two friends was un-bear-able. Myself and many more felt helpless, all we could do was send them love and healing prayers.

Then one day Von posted a load of pictures in memoriam, including one which changed the course of my life again!

As I was scrolling through the pictures, I could see the top of the next one, all  I saw was a pair of hands and snow. That was it, the pivotal moment that would change my life, again! This deep sadness and hysterical crying erupted within me and I was automatically transported to being sat in my mother’s living room watching ‘HIM’ on TV!!

The 101 realisations, dis belief, missed opportunities, regrets and deep loss that were spinning through my head and heart in that moment, it was overwhelming, I felt physical pain, pain I had only felt once before, when my mother died.

I wrote to Von while still sobbing, I remember saying, ‘please don’t think I’m a loon or something…’ and told her what happened.  We were both slightly in shock I think, I mean really, How could this man who I had never met but had touched my tender young soul 25 years earlier, somehow, have orchestrated Von and my paths to cross in the first place and more interestingly, Why???

Then I asked a burning question that I had wanted to ask Von for a couple of years but never did for ‘fear of humiliation’. I asked if ‘Grandfather Bear heart had ever written a book’.   Von replied ‘yes, it is called, The wind is my Mother’!! 

All of these Synchronicities cemented our bond further, we were soul sisters for sure. I miss her so very much!

For someone so aware, I sure did let my ego hold me back from so many wonderful experiences, my dreams in fact! This will always be my biggest regret.

I pray that the Creator takes pity on me and presents another opportunity for me to fulfil my dreams and soul purpose, in this life time.

In the winter of 2011, I was disabled due to a back condition, which led me to a very dark place but also to that part of me that didn’t want anymore regrets. So I booked a flight and headed to visit Von in the Spring of 2012.  😀

The two weeks we spent together are cherished memories that I will carry with me always. Bear heart worked his magic from the moment we got back to Vons house, he had more up his sleeve yet as to why this connection was first created. After waking up to 3ft of snow and howling winds, my planned 3 – 4 day visit with Von was decided to be longer, 2 magical weeks in fact.

I am writing about our experiences in my diary to be published next year, where the why will be found.

Von was a true earth angel; she was selfless, generous, gentle, firm, loving, kind and the embodiment to me, of a true Earth Mother.

Today as I reflect on our adventures, I feel so much love, respect and gratitude for the honour of knowing this great lady and for the connection with Teresa that Vons passing has cultivated. 

I make a vow to promise not to squander these gifts and honour my ancestors and the path chosen for me. To learn from the synchronicities, to trust them and ignore any ego chatter, to follow things through no matter where they will lead and to be grateful for all alliances formed, physical and those invisible that always work for the benefit of the higher good of the whole. HO!

I hope my experiences help others to avoid the same mistakes, to realise that Life is too Short, do what makes your heart strings sing. Trust in spirit, in your gut instinct.  Do not let fear hold you back, even if you fall on your face, you will have learnt something. Get up quickly when down, move forward with a new awareness and most importantly, Show LOVE to those that you care about, don’t take them for granted.

Mitakuye Oyasin

Maria Wind Talker.


8 thoughts on “Reflections…

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